Ever rocked up at a BBQ where the kids outnumber adults? Where did all those little people come from? And why are they so loud???
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the average age for marriage in Australia now sits at around 32 years of age. Which means that by the time most couples tie the knot, they will have at least a couple of family members or friends with young children. And the older you are, the more children you tend to have in your friendship circle.
So, when it comes to planning your wedding, you’re going to need to navigate the treacherous waters of the kid-free vs kid-friendly wedding debate. Buckle in folks because this can be a wild ride.
There are several valid, selfless reasons you may not want (or be able) to accommodate children at your wedding.
Or hey, maybe you just don’t like kids! Ultimately, it’s your wedding and guests need to understand that your decision is final. But if you want to stay friends with your peeps, it pays to deliver the message with tact and diplomacy. So here are our Do’s and Definitely Don’ts to telling your guests that kids aren’t welcome.
Decide Early
The sooner you let parents know that children are not invited, the sooner they can look for a babysitter!
Be Clear, but Considerate
Make sure your invitation explicitly excludes children but bear in mind that newborn bubbas need to be with their parents (especially if they are being breastfed). Consider specifying age restrictions or allowing babes-in-arms only.
Stick To Your Guns
Don’t cave to the one sibling or friend who makes life difficult for you. There will be trouble if other parents rock up to your wedding only to find the children of nagging parents slipped under the radar.
Talk To Parents
Especially anyone who you think might be extra prickly about the subject. Gently explain your reasons and empathise with their difficulties finding a babysitter. Offer to put them in touch with other parents attending if you think that’s suitable and might help ease the burden!
Consider Arranging Childcare
Particularly if you are having an out-of-town wedding where guests will need to overnight.
Have Flower Girls or Page Boys (if you want!)
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to weddings. Just because you want a kid-free wedding doesn’t mean you can’t have your nieces or nephews involved
Feel Guilty
This is your big day, and you get to decide how you want to spend it.
Be Brutally Honest
The parents of badly behaved brats DO NOT want to hear how you really feel. Avoid a war with a little white lie.
Just Write ‘Adults Only’ On Your Invites
For a start, this sounds kind of creepy. Try and include your reasoning as this will stave off any resistance. For example
Issue Ceremony-Only Invites for Kids
You may feel like you are doing parents a favour but realistically you are only adding to their logistical woes by including children in only part of the day.
Of course, many Canberra couples are more than happy to have family & friend’s children attend their ceremony and reception. If you love kids (or if you have kids!) and decide you’d like them to be involved in your big day, consider the following:
And if you really want to make all those parents out there happy, consider a child minding service. This is really the best of both worlds! Hire a nanny or childminding service to look after and entertain the children you invite to your wedding. Your guests will love you for it.
Looking for more tips on how to pull off the wedding you’ve always dreamed of, whilst avoiding family warfare? Get in touch with the Weddings of Canberra team! We love nattering about all things love and marriage and would love to share our top techniques for stress-free wedding planning with you!
